


FIVE PAST MIDNIGHT

by AgnesClementine



Category: Original Work
Genre: Boys In Love, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Implied/Referenced Racism, M/M, Self-Indulgent, Victorian
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-09
Updated: 2018-10-09
Packaged: 2019-07-28 18:31:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 613
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16247387
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AgnesClementine/pseuds/AgnesClementine
Summary: They find each other in the ungodly hours of the night, darkness falling over them like a veil to keep them hidden from the world. They find each other with wandering fingers and hungry mouths; starved of affection like lone sailors lost at the sea. Noel could get drunk on the rush that overtakes him, fills his lungs up like air and makes his head swim.





	FIVE PAST MIDNIGHT

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote a thing. Enjoy guys!
> 
> Comments are welcome. :)

They find each other in the ungodly hours of the night, darkness falling over them like a veil to keep them hidden from the world. They find each other with wandering fingers and hungry mouths; starved of affection like lone sailors lost at the sea. Noel could get drunk on the rush that overtakes him, fills his lungs up like air and makes his head swim.

Their clothes litter the floor, thrown carelessly because they can't afford themselves such luxuries; they never know who could be watching. As, if they rush it, it didn't happen. As if their love isn't almost spilling over the seams of their beings. As if Noel wouldn't shuck his skin if it would get him that much closer to James. As if it matters.

But it matters. It will always matter in this world.

“I can hear you thinking, love,” James breaths out next to his ear, a cover of flesh and bone above him, and muscles and skin and all Noel’s love poured in, “tell me what bothers you.”

“Nothing.” _I think they know I can’t breathe when I’m near you._ “It’s not important now.” He supports his words with a palm smoothing down James’ cheek, and a kiss to bring him in closer once again. Who knows when they’ll have time for this again; who knows what tomorrow brings.

“Father wants me to take Brigitte’s hand.” James says suddenly, diving in for another kiss, but Noel stops him. He doesn’t know whether he’s mad or grieving.

“Why would you mention this now?” He asks.

He knew it would happen eventually. And they both knew it will be James. James of pure blood; something Noel’s slave mother couldn’t give him and what could always be seen. He was gifted with light skin, but his father always said you could see the wild in him. Nobody wants to taint their blood with that.

He knew it would happen eventually, but it still burned like wax dripping on an open wound.

James frowns at him, “I thought you wanted to know.” He cups the back of his shaven head, “You know it doesn’t matter. She’s not the one I love.”

_But it matters. It will always matter in this world_.

“She will bear you children,” Noel swallows, “and give you happiness.”

James smiles at him like he’s silly, “I already have happiness and children don’t interest me.”

“This is happiness to you?”

They’re hiding underneath the sheets like God can’t see them there; they’re hiding like they’re committing the most disgusting of blasphemies. Like every part of Noel doesn’t love him so much it makes him ache. How is this happiness? 

“It’s the best we can have.”

“Please don’t lie to me. It’s the best _I_ can have, James.” Noel corrects him.

The cathedral bells are still ringing outside, lulling the night into sleep. James works his jaw, sighs and runs his hand down Noel’s side.

“I wish we could stay like this forever, Noel. This love I have for you, it’s tearing me apart.” He says. “Let’s enjoy tonight. I promise I will speak to you after I return from India. First chance I get.”

Noel laughs wetly. He knows all about James’ love, can feel it on his skin and pumping through his veins like ichor. But he can’t live on love and selfish touches when James is across the room and trying to hold a curtain on this.

“You’re such a good soldier, James, except when it comes to fighting for what you love.” He brings him in for a kiss, so he doesn’t burst into tears, and listens to the bells ringing in the night.


End file.
